About me part 2.

So this is an updated version of my 'About me' post. A fair bit has changed since I wrote the other post. If you want to see this post, click this link: http://thehappeningsofhart.blogspot.com/2011/06/about-me.html

1) I am nearly always on Twitter.
2) I prefer people on twitter to people in real life.
3) I do not like my 'friends' at school.
4) I am not going to go into the details about that here.
5) I nearly always have music playing.
6) I am really struggling with sixth form.
7) I am taking biology, chemistry and maths.
8) I had to drop drama in an attempt to keep up with my other subjects.
9) I wish I had chosen a different life path.
10) I would prefer to be doing something musical/theatrical.
11) I am still part of the same drama club. And I still love it.
12) I don't feel like I fit in at sixth form.
13) The people there don't give me any respect.
14) This is why I do not like them. Which kind of makes point 4 invalid.
15) I seem to be unable of logical thought.
16) I have a constant monologue going in my brain.
17) I am a bit odd.
18) I am still interested in fashion.
19) I am not gay. I know someone assumed that.
20) Most of the people at school think I am gay.
21) I am trying to become a better person.
22) I still dance and act.
23) I still love singing.
24) I still can't do solos.
25) My solos are limited to my bedroom.
26) I am currently working on choreographing a dance to Remembering Sunday by All Time Low.
27) Remembering Sunday is one of my favourite songs.
28) If I were to sing a solo, it would probably be Crash by You Me At Six.
29) My favourite bands are You Me At Six, All Time Low, Paramore, Bon Jovi and Nirvana.
30) I am not stupid, I know Nirvana are no long around.
31) I think that anyone who thinks Nirvana are still producing albums is an idiot.
32) People seem to think that I am good looking.
33) I disagree.
34) I hate racism, homophobia, sexism, and the word 'retard'
35) I get very offended when people at school are racist/homophobic/sexist or use the word 'retard'
36) I've asked them to stop, but they will not listen to me.
37) I have given up with trying to get them to listen to me.
38) I am no longer an atheist.
39) In fact, I now believe in God and Christianity.
40) I get annoyed when people insult Christians.
41) I need to get out more.
42) I never have enough money.
43) I do not think that I am very interesting.
44) Others disagree with me. I don't know why.
45) I keep a diary. It is just a place for me to write things I don't ever want anyone else to see.
46) I love my girlfriend.


Let me know what you think about all of this.

Until next time, adios mi amigos!

My Self Doubt

Again, it's been about a month since I last posted anything, for which I am sorry. Well, here is my newest post. It's basically about why I am not an interesting person. It's about my self doubt. You will see as this blog goes on what it is really about.
Basically, I do not think I am a very interesting person. I am not talented, good looking, smart, funny or anything. I do not think I have even been interesting. I do not think that I am talented, good looking, smart or funny, despite what people say. I do not see what others see in me. I know that it sounds like I am attention seeking, but I am really not. I actually feel this way about myself. I do not like myself.

And then there is my self doubt. I always doubt myself when it comes to everything. I doubt my intelligence, I doubt my choices, I doubt everything. It affects everything. It causes me to get depressed. It causes me to think about myself. Which leads to more depression. It always ends badly for me. I always over think everything. It is the reason for me ending up loosing friends. I always doubt myself in relationships. I never think that I am good enough. I always think that I am second choice to anyone and everyone. I think that everyone and everything is better than me. I do not know why I feel like this, but I do. I wish I felt more positively about myself, but unfortunatly, I do not.

I would like to point out that I am not attention seeking, I do feel this way about myself. This is really just a way of me venting my self doubt and loathing so that it is not all pent up inside me. Sorry if I depress you, but if I do, do not read this blog post.

Goodbye for now.