Relationships

I am probably not the best person to be writing about this, having not had the most relationships ever, and by that, I mean one. But I am going to write this blog, so sit there and take the complete rubbish I am probably about to write.
So, I am currently in a relationship, with a girl I love very deeply, and I cannot stop thinking about her, which I guess is normal, and right. And of course, I think that she is funny, clever, caring and beautiful, but she disagrees, and I do not understand why. Maybe it is just a female thing, that girls do not like boys giving them compliments. And I do compliment her, a lot. Too much if you ask her, but surely it is better that I tell her that she is beautiful, funny, clever, etc. as often as I can, because compliments are good right?
But anyway, I was talking to my very beautiful girlfriend, who will probably read this, and get a little annoyed with me for writing this, but there we go, and we somehow got on to me needing to prove myself to her, to which she replied that I didn't need to prove myself, and that I was perfect, which I am really not. I always make stupid comments, which usually end badly, and I am not the best person in the world when it comes to doing things right. And she says that she is the one who needs to prove herself, which she really does not, show I say that she is funny, clever, caring and beautiful, which is why I love her. I tell her that she does not need to prove anything.
The real reason I feel that I need to prove myself is because, like I said above, I am always doing things wrong, whether it be saying things or doing things. I also wonder to myself "why did she pick me? She is so amazing, she could have had any guy in the world, but she picked me. What makes me so special?" I know that I am nothing amazing, we both do drama, dancing and singing, and I am not the best actor in our company, I am not one of the better dancers, and I am probably the worst singer in the group. Whereas she is an amazing dancer, a very good actor, and can sing as well. I am left wondering, what did I do to deserve her? I am not the best looking guy, not the fittest, not the funniest, not the smartest, and sometimes one of the most insensitive people ever. Whilst my girlfriend is dancing her socks of amazingly, doing a very impressive dance, and making it look easy, I am struggling to do the simple moves, and I look like I am struggling. And when we are singing, I have pretty much been banned from doing solos, due to the fact that I am apparently "not confident enough", in fairness, I know I am not amazing, but a little support would be nice, so that I could build up my confidence. But my beautiful, amazing girlfriend has gotten a big part in our next show, and sings a lot in it, whilst I have been stuck with a load of smaller roles, some of which were meant to sing solos, but that idea was scrapped, because I do not have the confidence, or because I just can't sing. But, hey-ho, I thought I would go with it, because I know I am not the best singer. But, it does make me wonder again, why pick me, I'm not anything special, in fact, I'm a bit of a nobody. I don't have any stand out qualities, I don't do anything amazingly well to get myself noticed, I am just a bit dull. Whilst she is out there, being interesting, I feel that I am just plain boring, that I shouldn't speak, because when I do, I make stupid comments.
And then, there is the age thing. I have only just turned sixteen, whilst she is seventeen. My friends have made jokes about me just being a toy-boy, which did kind of hurt, I admit. But they have made me think, and it isn't good, because I then get all paranoid and go into a bad cycle of thoughts, and start doubting myself. I know that most if the time guys go for girls there own age, or younger in some cases, but it doesn't feel, to me, that our age gap is that much. I know that it is about fifteen months, but it doesn't seem to make a difference. And, with her being older then me, I get rather stupid comments made about sex. To me a relationship shouldn't just be based on that, it should be based on love, understanding, and a desire to be together. I find it rather annoying how all of my friends, most of whom are single, I would like to add, are all making comments about me having sex with my girlfriend, which, I would like to add at this moment in time, has NOT happened, and of course, they are trying to make me feel somehow inferior for not having had sex, which none of them can really comment on. If you don't mind, I will do it when the time is right, with the right person.
I unfortunatly often end up thinking about why she picked me, seeing as I am nothing special, although, as my non-biological sister tells me, she picked me for me, and I know I should be happy for that, but sometimes I think that I am not a very good boyfriend. I don't always know what to say or do, I don't know much, I don't know how to write beautiful poetry, I don't know how to sing a love song, I don't know how to play the guitar, but one thing I do know is that I love her, and I will always love her. So I guess that is what it really comes down to, love. I am not perfect, but she seems to think so, so I guess that, in someways, I am. And I know that she is perfect, although she disagrees with me, but then, we must agree to disagree.
So there you go, my complete and utter crap of a blog about relationships. In fact, what I basically just did was talk about my own relationship, and what happens. So this blog really didn't stick to the title, but that happens with everyone of my blogs. So there we go, that's it. Jamie over and out.