Worry and/or Stress

Everybody worries about things. Everybody gets stressed about things. I'm going to talk about that today. I say talk, I mean ramble and get off subject. Here we go:
There are many things that cause stress and worry. In an average teenagers life, the things that cause most stress are the dreaded exams, and worrying about what everyone thinks of them. Especially members if the opposite sex that they quite like. Of course, these are only two things that cause stress. There are an infinite number of things that can cause stress. Trouble at home, trouble at school, friends troubles, trouble with friends, falling out with friends, not being able to do something, etc. What I am trying to say is that almost everything causes some form stress and worry.
Different people deal with the stress in different ways. Some people keep it all bottled up inside, some people explode with emotion, some people break down, some people stay strong and keep going, some people keep doing the same things over and over until it is right. Everybody deals with it differently. I personally put my headphones in, turn up my music, and ignore what is going on around me. Then, I will log on to MSN or text someone, and talk it out with them. I often feel the need to do this, perhaps it is just part of being a teenager, perhaps it is just me. I do not think that it is only me though.
Occasionally, somebody will cause you unnecessary amounts of stress. I.e. When they send you a rather concerning text. My girlfriend almost did this to me the other day. She apparently was going to send me a text saying that she was pregnant. That would have been extremely concerning for me, because it would definitely not have been my baby. And my girlfriend would be pregnant. Fortunately, she did not send this text. If she had, I would have broken down. Quite literally. My brain would not have functioned for the rest of the day. Also, it was on April Fools day, so I would (hopefully) have realised that it was a joke. I would like to now confirm that my girlfriend is NOT pregnant.
Anyway, that did not really go with most of the rest of the blog. So, another thing that can cause stress is revision. Purely because it makes you think that you might not know the stuff you need to know. And if you do a lot of it, which I do, it gets on your nerves, which makes you stressy. Of course, someone will make a stupid comment about something trivial, and you will get annoyed about it. It is a cruel cycle of stress and things that cause stress.
This is going to be a shorter blog than usual, because I'm spending most of my time doing revision, and getting stressed. I will see you all later when I hopefully remember to write about my year 11 ball. Until then, adios mi amigos!

Year 11 Ball (part 1)

This is going to be a blog of three parts. Part 1, the build up to the ball. Part 2, the actual ball itself. Part 3, what happens afterwards i.e. The after ball party, and what happens when you wake up from that.
So, this is part 1. The build up. Basicaly when everyone try's to get dates, and all the girls try to find the one dress that nobody else will have. For guys, however, it is easy, clotheswise, because it is standard tuxedo time. It must be rented. Those things are not cheap. And I have one now, and it is pretty snazzy. Black trousers, white shirt, mint green waist coat, green bow tie, black jacket and shiney black shoes. Fairly standard, but hell, I look good in it. Wow, I'm modest as well. Right, now I guess I had better tackle the girls ball dresses. Ok, so I actually have no idea about them, but oh well. I have figured that every dress must be different, and if they are the same, virtually all hell breaks loose, unless they are like best friends, and even then, it does not end too well. But I have aboustly no understanding of this, so please, do not, whatever you do, quote me on that. And then, after having sorted out what you are wearing to the main event, you have to sort out how you are getting there, and who with. The simple way of getting to it is by the stretched limo. Boring, because everyone does it, yet, it is a pretty good way of getting there. And it is easy. The hard bit is sorting out who's coming in the limo, and then figuring out what it will cost everyone to rent it. It gets confusing, because people seem to be unwilling to even go to the ball, which I do question. I mean, why are you not going? It is a laugh, and it is good fun, and if you try and say "I'm not going because I've got no one to go with" that is complete and utter bollocks. You do not need to actually go with someone, you can go with a group of friends. So just go. Right, now that is out of my system, I shall continue.
And then comes the single, hardest part of the pre-ball build up, for guys anyway, is asking a girl to the ball. It is one of the hardest things in the world for a guy to do, asking a girl to dance, due to the fear of rejection. It is made even more awkward by not knowing if the girl you are about to ask is already going with another guy, or if she is just going with a group of friends. All these factors result in guys having serious problems in asking girls to the ball. This is perhaps why some of my friends are currently date less. I cannot talk though, seeing as I, at the time of writing this blog, do not have a date for the ball. But I, in all honesty, as nice as the girls are in my year, I would much rather be able to take my girlfriend. But unfortunatly, we must either take a girl from our year, or go without anyone. But, hi ho, silver lining (yes, that is a Jeff Beck lyric for those who got that) it means that you either go with a bunch of friends, or, if single, you might end the night having a girlfriend. I'm not saying that is going to happen, but still there is a chance. Or if, like me, you have a girlfriend, but you are not allowed to take her for whatever reason, and you do take another girl (please for god's sake, let your girlfriend know that it is ONLY for the ball), it is just a chance to have a nice chat to members of the other sex. But anyhow, seeing as I have no date, writing this on the 21st of march, so this is correct as of the time of writing. Although, I may actually have a date by the time of the ball, watch this space. Anyway, that is my take on the build up to the ball. This blog post may well be updated closer to the date of my ball, 20th of may. So, I may well be talking, or rambling, before my next promised blog. Until then, Adios mis amigos!

Relationships

I am probably not the best person to be writing about this, having not had the most relationships ever, and by that, I mean one. But I am going to write this blog, so sit there and take the complete rubbish I am probably about to write.
So, I am currently in a relationship, with a girl I love very deeply, and I cannot stop thinking about her, which I guess is normal, and right. And of course, I think that she is funny, clever, caring and beautiful, but she disagrees, and I do not understand why. Maybe it is just a female thing, that girls do not like boys giving them compliments. And I do compliment her, a lot. Too much if you ask her, but surely it is better that I tell her that she is beautiful, funny, clever, etc. as often as I can, because compliments are good right?
But anyway, I was talking to my very beautiful girlfriend, who will probably read this, and get a little annoyed with me for writing this, but there we go, and we somehow got on to me needing to prove myself to her, to which she replied that I didn't need to prove myself, and that I was perfect, which I am really not. I always make stupid comments, which usually end badly, and I am not the best person in the world when it comes to doing things right. And she says that she is the one who needs to prove herself, which she really does not, show I say that she is funny, clever, caring and beautiful, which is why I love her. I tell her that she does not need to prove anything.
The real reason I feel that I need to prove myself is because, like I said above, I am always doing things wrong, whether it be saying things or doing things. I also wonder to myself "why did she pick me? She is so amazing, she could have had any guy in the world, but she picked me. What makes me so special?" I know that I am nothing amazing, we both do drama, dancing and singing, and I am not the best actor in our company, I am not one of the better dancers, and I am probably the worst singer in the group. Whereas she is an amazing dancer, a very good actor, and can sing as well. I am left wondering, what did I do to deserve her? I am not the best looking guy, not the fittest, not the funniest, not the smartest, and sometimes one of the most insensitive people ever. Whilst my girlfriend is dancing her socks of amazingly, doing a very impressive dance, and making it look easy, I am struggling to do the simple moves, and I look like I am struggling. And when we are singing, I have pretty much been banned from doing solos, due to the fact that I am apparently "not confident enough", in fairness, I know I am not amazing, but a little support would be nice, so that I could build up my confidence. But my beautiful, amazing girlfriend has gotten a big part in our next show, and sings a lot in it, whilst I have been stuck with a load of smaller roles, some of which were meant to sing solos, but that idea was scrapped, because I do not have the confidence, or because I just can't sing. But, hey-ho, I thought I would go with it, because I know I am not the best singer. But, it does make me wonder again, why pick me, I'm not anything special, in fact, I'm a bit of a nobody. I don't have any stand out qualities, I don't do anything amazingly well to get myself noticed, I am just a bit dull. Whilst she is out there, being interesting, I feel that I am just plain boring, that I shouldn't speak, because when I do, I make stupid comments.
And then, there is the age thing. I have only just turned sixteen, whilst she is seventeen. My friends have made jokes about me just being a toy-boy, which did kind of hurt, I admit. But they have made me think, and it isn't good, because I then get all paranoid and go into a bad cycle of thoughts, and start doubting myself. I know that most if the time guys go for girls there own age, or younger in some cases, but it doesn't feel, to me, that our age gap is that much. I know that it is about fifteen months, but it doesn't seem to make a difference. And, with her being older then me, I get rather stupid comments made about sex. To me a relationship shouldn't just be based on that, it should be based on love, understanding, and a desire to be together. I find it rather annoying how all of my friends, most of whom are single, I would like to add, are all making comments about me having sex with my girlfriend, which, I would like to add at this moment in time, has NOT happened, and of course, they are trying to make me feel somehow inferior for not having had sex, which none of them can really comment on. If you don't mind, I will do it when the time is right, with the right person.
I unfortunatly often end up thinking about why she picked me, seeing as I am nothing special, although, as my non-biological sister tells me, she picked me for me, and I know I should be happy for that, but sometimes I think that I am not a very good boyfriend. I don't always know what to say or do, I don't know much, I don't know how to write beautiful poetry, I don't know how to sing a love song, I don't know how to play the guitar, but one thing I do know is that I love her, and I will always love her. So I guess that is what it really comes down to, love. I am not perfect, but she seems to think so, so I guess that, in someways, I am. And I know that she is perfect, although she disagrees with me, but then, we must agree to disagree.
So there you go, my complete and utter crap of a blog about relationships. In fact, what I basically just did was talk about my own relationship, and what happens. So this blog really didn't stick to the title, but that happens with everyone of my blogs. So there we go, that's it. Jamie over and out.

How men are still as emotionaly locked up as they were in the 1930s.

This is basically a blog subject that I didn't think of myself, it was suggested to me by a friend. So I will say sorry now in case it is complete and utter rubbish. Sorry. There, now that's done, I can write the blog.

So, men. As a guy, I am under the pressure of needing to fit in, like everyone else I guess, but for men, for whatever reason, it is hard to open up, and show emotions. I am, for one, not a person who has much trouble showing emotion. I tend to show how I am feeling. I wear my heart on my sleeve, so to speak. I am a very open person. I think that this is best because, this way, if something is wrong, I do not need to keep it bottled up, and then it can't eat me up from inside. It means that I can get help from my friends and family if something is bugging me. But for other men, it is hard to open up, and show others how they are feeling. This may be because they feel that people will think less of them if they show that they can feel things. Or perhaps, for whatever stupid reason, people may think that they are in some way homosexual. This seems to happen to me with certain people, "Oh, he has feelings, and he can show them, henceforth, through my 'oh so clever' logic, he must be gay." On the contrary, I am not gay, I just have the ability to show how I am feeling. This may not be the same for others, but it does happen to me.

When you start to show emotions, it is considered to be a sign of weakness, but it really is not. It is a sign of strength, passion, joy, sadness, the list goes on. All emotions are felt by everyone sometime during their lifetime, but for men, it seems to be hard to show them. I cannot say that I understand why this is, but I am going to try and explain why I think the reasons behind it. It may be that men are actually scared of being judged, which is quite possible, but it may also be that they feel less of a man if they show their emotions. Emotions are part of human nature, so I do not see why people judge others on them.

Men may still be as locked up emotionally as they were in the nineteen thirties, but I do not know for sure, having never been to that time period. But men are still locked up about emotions, perhaps because they never learnt how to show them properly, or perhaps due to the fact that they just don't understand what they are feeling. I am also sometimes confused about what I am feeling, but then I talk to someone, try to put it into words, try to understand what I am feeling. I have to say that talking to people helps you understand what your feeling.

Men might also might be locked up because they do not know how to put into words what they are feeling. Perhaps in the 1930s it was frowned upon for men to talk about feelings. In fact, it still is now. And it just isn't British, talking about emotions. It isn't something that people in Britain are good at, I do not know why. I do not fully understand why this is. Maybe it is because we just cannot talk about it, because it just isn't croquet. Perhaps in the 1930s, men were men, only talking about sport and abusing women. That isn't my view on how men should be, merely the 1930s outlook. Whilst the women stayed at home, cooked, cleaned and looked after the children, the men were out working, often in factories, quarries, and the likes, so the men only ever really talked to other men, so they never opened up. This would have been passed down generations of men, so they never had a proper heart to heart with their father, which has impacted on today's men. They struggle to talk about emotions and the likes. The conversations are mainly based on what makes both parties feel comfortable, so if someone doesn't feel comfortable talking about something, the problem will be ignored. It sounds like some kind of disease like that, and in a way, it is. The disease that has crippled men through generations. The disease that has stopped men being able to talk about certain things. I do not know. I didn't take history as a GCSE, so I cannot pretend to know much about history, but this is what I think is the reason behind it. After 70-80 years of this, people are starting to realise that emotions are not big and scary, everybody feels them, at different points during their lives, but they do feel them. This slow dawning has made it easier for men to open up, even though the older generations are still struggling, the younger generation, mine, are talking to our peers about these things, because we are making proper friendships, making strong bonds between people, who we then feel we can talk to about almost anything, although some things still are carefully avoided, often because we find them to be embarrassing, but just as often, we cannot put the things into words, so the problem goes unattended. Men are still struggling to show emotions, for the fear that someone will still judge them on their behaviour. This is rather silly, because we are all the same, we all came into the world the same way, we are all equal, so no-one has the right to judge us. So, to all you men out there, to coin a phrase, man up, and be open about everything, because, lets face it, nobody is any better or worse than you. No-one can judge you for being who you are, and feeling how you feel. I don't think that this has really stuck much to the title of the blog, so again I am sorry for it being complete and utter rubbish, but there you go. There is the blog on that, which did go a little of course, but it is now done. The end.

Lengths of time spent on things

In life, you spend a lot of time doing things you don't enjoy. In my case: homework and chores. It takes away time from me that I could be spending doing things I enjoy. Things like sports, my drama club, relaxing at home and hanging around with my friends. Although I do make time to do these things, I don't have as much time as I would like. Unfortunately, homework is something that has to be done, otherwise bad things happen. Such as detention, which takes even more time away from me being able to talk to my friends. And if I don't do my chores, I end up getting grounded, so I can't see my friends, which means that I spend time on my homework, and other relatively boring tasks along those lines, which doesn't half put me in a bad mood. Which means that I am even less likely to do what I should. So I get grounded again, or get detention. Which takes away even more time from me being able to do the things I like. It is really just a cruel circle if I'm honest.
Of course, there are the things that I do enjoy doing, such as hanging out with friends, sports, my drama club and relaxing at home. I have to admit that I am a bit of a Facebook and Twitter addict. I have them both open on different tabs even as I am writing this. I spend a lot of my free time on the computer, talking to people, seeing what is going on in the world of my friends.In fact, that is probably half the reason I don't do my homework and chores. Too much of Facebook and Twitter. Perhaps I should stop. But I don't think that it is going to happen, due to me needing to know what is going on around the world. I also spend a lot of time texting, which can become rather expensive. Just as well Tesco do the thing with tripling your credit when you top up ten, fifteen or twenty pounds, and for free. It is very, very useful for me, because I wouldn't make it though without that deal. Due to my need to talk to people and socialise, I end up spending a lot of money on that. I have gone of subject a bit there. Back to what I was talking about. I also spend a lot of time listening to music. I don't think that I would survive a day without listening to some form of music. It is in my blood. And after seven years of my drama club, at which I sing, dance and act, I feel the need to move to the music, or sing along, or both sometimes, depending on the song. I do really enjoy going to my drama club. It has made me who I am today. I know that sounds rather cliche, but it is the truth. Before going there, I was a shy, closed-off little boy, but now, I am a confident and open dude. Yes, dude. I couldn't think of a better word. But I wouldn't be writing this blog if it weren't for that drama group. I owe them all so much. So I would like to say thank you to them now, even though they probably will never read this, but it makes me feel better. I also enjoy going there because I have so many good friends there, and I have spent seven years worth of Saturday afternoons with. For three hours at a time. I think that is a grand total of nine hundred and forty five hours, give or take a few hours. Wow, that is a long time....
So, I went a little off track, and took a little trip down memory lane then, and I actually got a little emotional, because of all the good times I have had there. All those times that you don't think you'll ever remember when you are in the moment, but looking back, you really do. All those times spent sat around talking, singing, dancing, acting and just being children, and then growing to become teenagers together. Wow, I am getting really emotional now, because I am probably going to have to leave soon, and a lot of my good friends are going to be leaving. I actually have a tear in my eye. But in a good way, I guess.
I'm going to stop that there, before I start crying everywhere. So, back to my chosen subject, which I shall continue with on the subject of sports. I love my sports, I find that it is a good release of everything that you've had to keep inside. It is a way of letting yourself go, even if it is only for an hour in PE. For instance, football. I am a fanatic, I play it at every opportunity I get. It is a way of releasing the pent up energy that you cannot release any other way. What I am saying is, don't just do things because you have to, do them because you enjoy them, and don't live your life thinking "what if?" Live your life without regrets, get up, and go at them.

Music (Or to be specific, songs that last for a long time)

I was listening to Deep Purple Made In Japan, possibly the best Deep Purple album ever produced by the band, and I couldn't help but notice that there were seven tracks, and the whole CD lasted for one hour and sixteen minutes. This may sound old fashioned, but how is that possible, I mean SEVEN tracks, seven! For an hour and sixteen minutes! For goodness sake, one of them is nearly twenty minutes long. If Deep Purple had done a live cover of Rush's 2112, we would all have been done for. That songs is twenty something minutes long as it is, but Deep Purple managed to make a four minute long song of theirs normally last for nearly twice that long, so the whole night would have been taken up by the one song, if they had covered 2112. I am writing this because I was talking about it at school with my good friend David, and we both are very interested in music, particuarly the rock side, usually when we talk about music, it is talking about older artists, such as Deep Purple, Black Sabbath and the likes. We got to talking about Made In Japan, and came to the conclusion that it is probably the single greatest album ever produced by Deep Purple, and then David said that if you combined Made In Japan and Made In Europe, both by Deep Purple, you would have the best possible album ever created by a single group of rock artists, or at least, those particular rock artists. Talking of great rock artists, Meat Loaf has a problem with producing songs that are fairly long, such as Bat Out Of Hell, nine minutes long, I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That), twelve minutes long, and most recently from the Bat Out Of Hell trilogy, The Monster Is Loose, seven minutes long. But seeing as the Bat Out Of Hell tilogy has been descibed as "the greatest rock and roll adventure ever." So he can get away with it. I was also wondering how is it that Rush can produce a twenty something minute long song, and still make their album less than forty minutes long, and it is still an amazing album, with amazing songs, whilst other artists struggle to do the same, even if they produce shorter songs? And sometimes, I think that some songs go on for too long. I mean, we know that you are very good at what you do, but we would prefer it if you could give us shorter, more varied examples of what you do, rather than one really long song, that is fairly similar throughout, and that way, we don't get bored and change the song, because I personally find that if a song goes on for too long, and seems to repeat itself, I have to skip it, because I am bored by it. Of course, I appreciate that they are very good musicians, and that they can do these things, but seriously, break it up a little. Like in The Mule, on Made In Japan, nearly the whole song is taken up by a drum solo, which is very, very impressive, I admit, but after seven minutes of drum solo, and it not even being quite in time, is a little tedious, due to the fact that drums just don't have the range of sound that guitars do. I have nothing against drums, in fact one of my good friends plays the drums, pretty well I might add, so I do appreciate them, but still, not the same as a good guitar solo. Like the one in Gary Moore's Parisienne Walkways (live), but then there is a problem with that as well, and that is that he holds a note for thirty seconds, and it sounds good, but it does prove for a slight twinge in the head. Which is why I say, to all you rock stars, or generally musicains who like to play long solos, turn it down a bit, we like the solos, but if they get too long, we get bored, and often will not listen to you for a while. And to the rock stars, and musicains who like to play very long songs, please, just a smaller sample would be nice, we know you can do it, so please, give us little tasters of what you do, and we will keep coming back for more. Thank you for listening.

Birthdays

It is my birthday this month, and I am looking forward to it quite a bit, if I am honest. It means that I am one step closer to being able to do everything legally (even though I have been doing most of the things for a few years already). It also means that I am closer to being an adult, which is a slightly worrying thought, I do not think that I am really mature enough to be an adult, but I have still have time to sort that. HAHAHAHA! I do not think that it is likely to happen, but there we go. It also means that I have an excuse for a party, which is never a bad thing. I do enjoy a good "partay". Yes, I do mean "partay", it is just not the same if it is a mere party. It is something I enjoy doing, going to partys, because it is a way of socialising, and meeting new people, which can provide to be quite interesting, to say the least. But i go off topic, as I do in most of my blogs. Did it again. Should really stop that. And again. Right, back to what I was talking about, birthdays, and the resulting partys. so, every year it comes around, my birthday that is, not always a party, but still I am having one this year, for my sixteenth, or as my mother and her friends kindly put it "my super sweet sixteenth". Yes, thank you mother, I am not a stupid cow of a girl who thinks it important to spend stupid amounts of money on a party that always ends up being absoutly shocking, and feels the need to be on television for the thirty seconds of fame it will bring me, and then I will get thrown onto the pile of people who appeared on television for half an hour, and then gets forgotten, by everybody, and most importantly my friends, because I get to big for my boots, and slag everyone off who does not have a party on television. But anyway, I am not like that. I just want to have a good time with some friends, with music, dancing, and probably bad singing (not from me of course, I am an amazing singer. *cough*). All I really want is to be able to dance (well) with the girl I love. I would not mind if that was all I got for my birthday. But still, presents are nice. But I honestly do not really have anything I want this year. Which is annoying, because people keep asking me what I want, so all I can say is "I really don't know. Suprise me. But nothing to weird. Sorry." Because I have no idea. You may be thinking "WHAT!? A nearly sixteen year old doesn't want anything really for his birthday? What is wrong with him?" But that is just me, I am a bit different. So anyway, that is it really. My birthday. Summed up rather too easily. Perhaps I need to something about that. If you have any suggestions, please do feel free to comment below. Or wherever is easiest for you.